Every night I have a ritual now. I come home from a friend's house and crawl onto my window seat and open the window. I enjoy the feel of the cold night air flowing over my skin, and the way it makes me almost numb. I lite a cigarette, brace myself against the wall, sometimes practically digging my nails into it, and I listen to the following song. It's a truly bittersweet moment. Then I crawl into bed and face a restless night.

<sub>I don't want someone telling me what to do
I don't wanna find out my temper grew wings
And flew to you

Don't want somebody telling me what's not right
But I just want you to love me
Oh I just want you to love me

I don't wanna have to lie about what's inside
When there's always been a tiny part of me
I'm trying to hide

I don't wanna see your expression when I let you down
And I just want you to love me
Oh I just want you to love me

There's a haiku poem inside of my head
But the words are written in invisible ink
Now the world is changing
I can barely keep up
What was hot is over
What was down is not
Now Adam and Eve are trying to split up
And I can't take anymore
'Cause I just want you to love me
Oh I just want you to love me

Love me
Oh I just want you to love me
I Just Want You to Love Me - Darren Hayes</sub>

Now taking this photo at night when the moment happens just didn't work as well as I had hoped. So I tried it with daylight instead, which my camera much prefers. Enjoy.

Self Portrait. Natural Light.
Intentional grain. Added some in photoshop even so you can't tell me it wasn't intentional. I like the old feel.
Intentional bright light too. Makes for quite the change in my gallery.
Intentional out of focus image on the right. I believe it better shows how I feel.

Copyright 2007 kedralynn
Image may not be used without my direct written consent.
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